I was recently “accused” of me that I spend all my social media accounts presenting that my husband and I have a wonderful marriage. It was brought to my attention that it seemed as though I faked the perfection in our relationship.
Let me make one thing clear-I don’t believe Josh and I have the perfect relationship. I’m pretty sure it’s very far from being perfect-trust me I’m there for all the arguments! But my husband is a wonderful man, loving, caring and sweet. There’s a large list of things he does that make our relationship work better, but there’s four things that he does that make me love him a little more each day.
1. He’s a wonderful father to my children.
When we started dating, I was under the impression my husband never wanted kids. By “under the impression” I mean “he said explicitly he never wanted to have children.” It was something that would make or break a relationship for me; anyone who knows me knows my entire life I’ve wanted kids.
It as crazy how quickly “I never want kids” went to “Let’s have babies together!”
What made it even better than him wanting kid was seeing how great he was at being a father. The first time he met my baby brother to the first time I saw him hold James, I knew how amazing of a daddy I married. From playing on the floor, tossing the kids around to watching him hug the princess as she’s having a bad day; I married a good daddy. And by being a good daddy, I know that no matter what happens between the two of us-whatever we be fighting over-my husband will always be a great father.
2. He tells me(and shows) how much he appreciates me.
I know this isn’t a need for every person, but my love language is “Words of Affirmation.” (To find out your Love Language, check out the quiz on this site!) I need constant reassurance that I am good, I am worthy and I am loved. My husband is not high for “Words of Affirmation.” He has to fight to remember to tell me I’m beautiful daily.
He truly does fight to remember to do just that. He gives me flowers, surprises me with phone calls and little love letters. And most importantly, even when I feel he’s lacking in this area(because he does! It’s not something that comes to him naturally. His family even is one of little words.) He works to remember and always hears me out when I tell him I need more.
(How pretty is my engagement ring?)
3. He just lets me talk.
I’ll be the first to admit it; I never shut up. Anyone who knows me knows I analyze things-then re-analyze….then re-analyze again. I do most of this analyzing outloud.
My poor husband gets the brunt of it.
He gets my ranting about foster care, he gets the late night “Do you think God wears pants” he is the only person who has to deal with angry me. I’m slow to anger but I am also slow to forgive(I’m working on it, I swear.) and therefore my husband has dealt with my angry ranting about the same thing for months. Ask him. He’s still hearing about last June.
But he never tells me to stop?!
Despite not allowing him a word in edgewise, he usually just lets me go. Obviously you should not belittle or aim all your anger at your significant other, and it’s something I try not to do, because it’s so easy to be angry with the one person I know would never hurt me, but he makes everything I say feel valuable and worth listening to-even when what I’m saying is completely useless to the conversation.
4. He’s learned how to deal with my kind of crazy.
Josh married me knowing some days my mind attacked my thoughts. He watched me for a year before even being a prospect to me and therefore I was brutally honest. He knew about my panic attacks, my anxiety, all of it. He knew the symptoms before they had a real name and I could begin to work on them.
While my kind of crazy is not as prevalent any longer, there are still days people touching me feels like cotton balls on my skin(y’all, I hate cotton balls.) and there are still some instances where I have to call 30 times to make sure he’s at work safe.
He doesn’t love me “in spite” of all this-he loves even those parts of me. He’s looked into PTSD, he’s read articles about how to love a person through a panic attack. He has educated himself on the parts that I thought I would have to hide from anyone in hopes they would love me. I don’t think even he realizes how much I appreciate this
Needless to say, my husband does a lot of things right. I choose to praise him(and probably not often enough!)because he is an amazing husband and an amazing man!