About two months back I decided that this is it. It was time to do the thing I brought up every few months, something I had talked about for years.
I was about to cut my hair.
My hair had been long my entire life, or at least my entire life post high school. I spent hours styling, straightening, and caring for it. Hours upon hours brushing hair. It’s think and curly. If I didn’t brush it twice a day, it would dread in the back. I begged my husband to brush it on the daily, because my arms would get too tired.
I hated it.
I also loved it more than anything and it was becoming a serious source of pride…and not the good time. I very rarely would ..go into public and not have someone comment on how great it was. It took time, effort and way too much of my life was consumed by making it work.
But man, did cutting it off scare me. I love(d) my hair more than any other physical aspect. My entire body was taken over for nine months(closer to ten, thank you JC) and my hair was the only part of me I could control and feel comfortable with that entire time. I enjoy being in control-call me crazy, call me a perfectionist, call me shallow-being in control rocks. And in my line of living, there’s not much within my control. I have a state agency tell me how long I can love my kids for, I have lawyers and social workers tell me how well I’m doing that. I have a husband who is in charge of everything legal and financial…essentially all I get is what my kids eat(sometimes.) and how I look. And taking that leap to a different hair cut, well that scared me. I wouldn’t have control of my hair; the best part of me was being put into someone else’s hands.
Then one day I looked in the mirror and said to my husband, “Joshua. I am cutting it ALL off.”
He laughed-he had heard that before. An hour later though, I had an appointment set up, dinner ready to go when I left….and an Ativan for when the hair was finally being cut. With a slight reminder no to do a pixie cut, I was off.
I went into the salon and told my hair stylist(Mary’s Hair Studioe in Shelbourne Falls-they are the best!) I wanted a huge change. She talked it over with me some and we decided on a cut that was Taylor Swifty, with no bangs and all the natural curls.
And voila, suddenly my hair alone did not weigh six pounds!
I was terrified I would leave there and hate it-or worse wake up and regret it. Thankfully I’m 2 months out and I still love it. My husband(call me old fashion but his opinion matters a lot to me!) loves it too. Sometimes I miss the long hair, the ability to just throw it back and not think about it…but I definitely recommend that big change it you’re ever thinking about it. I’m growing it back out again, but I can’t say in three years I won’t be back at Mary’s, getting it all chopped again! For now I’m going to enjoy the lightness of my head and the simplicity of straightening my hair in under three hours!
Anyway, this is mainly to encourage you if you’re thinking about it-do it! It’s just hair and let’s be honest, if I can get up the courage? You can too!
(PS. I hope you enjoyed so many photos of my face!)